Staying Safe While Enjoying What Spring Has to Offer

It’s that time of the year. The time when the flowers bloom, the sun is finally warn again, and when men decide to do some incredibly stupid stuff in the name of fun. My good ‘buddy’ has often said that every “epic” story starts with “hold my beer.” Yet, to be fair, most of his stories end up with someone bleeding or running from the police. His standard of springtime fun only ever sounds comedic because of some excellent storytelling chops and a tendency to avoid words like “legal” and “moral.”

So this is my humble reminder that good-stories can be made without the use of fire accelerants and copious amounts of alcohol.

Three-Ways-Not-to-Get-Your-Ass-Handed-to-You-During-Spring-Fun

Drink Your Juice, Shelby.

Also known as staying hydrated. Laugh it off if you want but not drinking enough water is the beginning of bad times. Despite the obvious dehydration problems with staying outside on hot days without having enough water, let’s not forget what happens when you add booze to the mix. Alcohol dehydrates the body at a faster rate than normal. Not only can this put your body in serious danger but the hangover you’re going to have the next day is going to feel like a New Orleans marching band practicing on your forehead. Avoid being a total downer by carrying your own water bottle (I recommend a HydroFlask: the water stays cool all day if you toss a few ice cubes in) and drinking plenty of H2O before, during, and after beer-fueled fun.

Swim-buddy, anybody?

It’s getting hot out there and you’ve been working on that tight beach body, so I get that you can’t wait to go swimming. Things that don’t mix with swimming? Booze and bone-headed-ness. It’s not a story your mother made up to keep you from the water; eating before you swim can give you some pretty intense cramps. Trust me, no fun. And, in case it wasn’t obvious already, drinking before or while swimming is the worst idea anyone has had since the invention of light beer (ack!).

Hundreds of American’s die each year because they have one too many and decide to go for a dip. Drowning isn’t cute, so let’s just go ahead and avoid that as well. As for bone-headed-ness…well, I mostly needed something else that started with “b” but I think the gist stands: don’t go swimming alone, don’t drink, and don’t swim where you shouldn’t.

It Rubs the Lotion on Its Skin…

The sun is a fickle beast. All at once it gives you sustenance and warm weather but those UV rays are no joke. Sunburns might seem like fun opportunities to get a “base coat” but the science says differently. Sunburns are a sign of excessive UV radiation poisoning.

Yeah, sounds pretty scary huh? Well it should. All that sunbathing without SPF sunscreen can lead to melanoma: that’s cancer peeps. And if that’s not horrifying enough, just remember that the sun also makes skin age prematurely, causing discoloration and wrinkles. So, whether you’re going outside to bask in the sun or just trying to get to the next party, be sure to put on some SPF of at least 15. For excessive sun exposure you need a minimum SPF 30. Anything less and you might as well just cover yourself in butter and get ready to bake.